For men this means no bachelor party, tuxedo, strippers or Best Man.

On Shrink Talk there's a section that says "3) There is far too much emphasis on 'weddings' as opposed to 'marriages.'".

As hit happens, I had no bachelor party, no tux, no strippers and no Best Man. And I liked it that way :-).


Sol is driving

Sol passed her practical driving test last Wednesday. Before that, she got a perfect score in the theory test. I'm very proud that she passed her practical test on the first try. Not everyone does, in NZ, and she wasn't an experienced driver when she came to NZ. In the Philippines she learned just enough to get a license, and then she didn't use her license for years.

She took a lot of driving lessons here though (expensive, but worthwhile), and she practiced with a good friend as her supervisor, and every day with her sister, when her sister was here.

Since she can now drive legally, she went shopping with Timmy twice last week, and she's gone to pick him up at daycare today. I just bought a carseat for John, too. So starting tomorrow, she'll be picking up Timmy at school and I'll no longer need to leave work early to pick Timmy up. Unfortunately, this will entail some disruption in John's sleep schedule. She needs to get him into his car seat and he'll accompany her to pick up Timmy. That'll take a week or two of adjustment, but I'm sure it'll all work out.

I'm relieved that I'll finally be able to spend more time at the office. I *do* work at home after bringing Timmy home from daycare, but this is no time to seem to be slacking at work. And while no one at work has said that, New Zealand work culture being so supportive of family I'm very glad we moved here, I'd rather head off any such thoughts than deal with them when they come up.


forgot to take out the garbage

Monday is garbage collection day here and I forgot to take out the garbage. So we've got last week's garbage sitting in the back.

I didn't take out the garbage because I was exhausted and went to sleep at the same time as I was putting Timmy to sleep on Sunday night. I was up much of the night anyway, making sure he was Ok, so I didn't wake up early on Monday. The garbage truck goes by close to noon, so I could have put the garbage out. But I was very busy chasing Timmy around and trying to get some work done, and I just completely forgot that it was garbage day. I hadn't even checked my email or SMS messages over the weekend, so I missed paying the rent on Saturday. That's no big deal, it's due on Monday, and I sent it in on Monday afternoon, but I almost missed a whole day there.

It's all Timmy's fault :-). He's had a fever since thursday. No vomiting or diarrhea this time (well, wet stool that runs out of his diaper, but only once or twice a day). Last week I had two all-nighters trying to get some critical work done. I finally got it deployed on the weekend. But with the all-nighters, and the bad sleep because of Timmy being uncomfortable at night and having to take his paracetamol at the right time, and comforting him when he's uncomfortable but can't take his paracetamol yet, well, things got hectic.

I brought him to the doctor on Sunday, but they all do the same thing here. On the first visit to the doctor (typically 2-3 days after the first fever), they'll prescribe paracetamol and send him home for observation and have him seen by his GP two days later. That's fine, since it's often a virus that'll go away by itself after a few days. If it's something that antibiotics can handle, they don't prescribe the antibiotics because usually it'll go away in 5 or 6 days anyway, and they're minimizing the evolution of antibiotic resistant bacteria.

So it's all very reasonable, but it sure is putting me under quite a bit of pressure. I take sick leave when I'm sick and when Sol is sick, and when either of the kids is sick. I don't want to be taking that much sick leave since it could put my job in danger. Well, not really, Catalyst IT is a really great place to work and they're understanding about family and personal problems. But I do take my work seriously and in the current economic climate I want to be optimizing my chances of doing well until the recovery. Sick days don't help, and *5* sick days because the doctors won't prescribe antibiotics or take blood tests to see if it's something antibiotics would help, are a big problem.

Timmy has been very needy too, wanting to be carried all the time. That's normal, given the fever and body aches he must be having. But carrying him *does* take a toll on an older father :-).

We've got his doctor's appointment tomorrow. I hope he's given a clean bill of health so he can go to school on Thursday and I can go to work.

On another note: I've been leaving work early and working a few hours at home this last few weeks so that I can pick up Timmy at school. Sol is taking driving lessons and will be taking her practical driving exam next Wednesday. I hope she passes on the first try. If not, well, I hope she passes on the *second* try. When she passes her driving exam, she'll be able to pick up Timmy in the car and I won't need to leave work early. I actually *like* leaving early and picking him up and working two or three hours at home, but again, I need to be doing as well as possible at work, and while Catalyst is, again, understanding about the need to leave early, I'd rather not rely on that but instead build an image for being reliable and *being*present*at*work*.